Incredible CGI by Alex Roman

In Focus: Senate Candidate Drops Out Of Race Due To Shyness
KNOXVILLE, TN--Donald Miller told his campaign manager to tell the people that Tennessee would be better off with a more confident, outgoing representative. […]
How Are We Protecting Our Valuables?
[…]
Alternate Health Care Bills
In response to President Obama's call for compromise, several lawmakers have concocted their own health care reform bills. Here are some... […]
Sports: Chris Bosh Out For Season After Cutting Open Knee To See How It Works
TORONTO—The Raptors medical staff announced Tuesday that Chris Bosh will miss the rest of the season after the inquisitive forward cut open his knee with a steak knife in an effort to look inside and see how the joint works. […]
Universe Comes To Halt As Kid Flips Through First Shark Book
SPRINGDALE, AR—The dynamic processes by which matter and energy function in the physical world ground to a halt Thursday night as 7-year-old... […]
Wine May Help Women Moderate Weight
In a long-term study that surveyed the drinking habits of 20,000 women, those who consumed moderate amounts of alcohol were more likely to keep their... […]
[audio] 18-Year-Old Demands Right To Be Sexually Harrassed In Workplace
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland […]
Nation Shudders At Large Block Of Uninterrupted Text
WASHINGTON—Without an illustration, chart, or embedded YouTube video to ease them in, millions of dumbfounded citizens from Maine to California were frozen in place, terrified by the sight of one long, unbroken string of English words unsure of what to do next. […]
In Focus: Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think
CHICAGO—Subjects who drank five glasses or more showed an increased ability to recall each time their mothers had been unsupportive of boyfriends or husbands. […]
Local CVS Selling One Leather Jacket For Some Reason
News In Photos […]

Incredible CGI by Alex Roman

Tags

Links

The Onion